John

Britt Nichole
The Lost are Found

"Hello my friend
I remember when you were
So alive with your wide eyes
Then the light that you had in your heart was stolen
Now you say that it ain't worth stayin'
You wanna run but you're hesitatin'
I'm talkin' to me

Don't let your lights go down
Don't let your fire burn out
'Cause somewhere, somebody needs a reason to believe
Why don't you rise up now?
Don't be afraid to stand out
That's how the lost get found
The lost get found

So when you get the chance
Are you gonna take it?
There's a really big world at your fingertips
And you know you have the chance to change it
There's a girl on the streets, she's cryin'
There's a man whose faith is dyin'
Love is calling you

Don't let your lights go down
Don't let your fire burn out
'Cause somewhere, somebody needs a reason to believe
Why don't you rise up now?
Don't be afraid to stand out
That's how the lost get found
The lost get found

Why do we go with the flow
Or take an easier road?
Why are we playin' it safe?
Love came to show us the way
Love is a chance we should take
I'm movin' out of the way

Don't let your lights go down
Don't let your fire burn out
'Cause somewhere, somebody needs a reason to believe
(Stand out)
Don't let your lights go down
Don't let your fire burn out
(Stand out)
'Cause somewhere, somebody needs a reason to believe
Why don't you rise up now?
Don't be afraid to stand out
That's how the lost get found
The lost get found

So when you get the chance
Are you gonna take it?
There's a really big world at your fingertips
And you know you have the chance to change it"

We need to stand up for what we believe in and NEVER give up. This means we have to work at it. Work??!! What the heck!! I know, work sucks. However, think of all the benefits you get from standing up for what we believe. This goes are all aspects of our lives from our religion to the raising of our children. Fight for your marriage, fight for you right to vote. Fight for your child's hugs and kisses and fight for your turn in line. Show the world your "guns" and stand up.

Posted in: on Wednesday, August 26, 2009 at at 7:16 PM 0 comments  

We knew that tonight was going to be different. We had to leave our comfort zones behind. We changed seats to share parts of our stories. First was just an easy one to break the ice. First kiss, with who, and with tongue. Pretty easy for all of us. The the next thing came in. We had then tell the guys about when we first found Christ. For me it is so hard to remember such things. We never really had a church home. We never went to church with exception on Xmas and Easter. Still I want to follow him. I want to do as he did. Be the ultimate sacrifice for good.

Posted in: on Monday, August 10, 2009 at at 9:09 PM 0 comments  

Ok well not my Birthday yet. It is going to be busy on Monday (my Real Birthday) so we had it tonight. I got lots of good stuff. Teresa even bought me a GOOOOOOD cake. Blackforest. Yummy! Teresa got me a very nice watch with a cross on it and the new Mat Kearney CD "City of Black & White". The kids got me a few new signs, each with some play on words of Bible verses. So much good stuff. :D Happy Birthday to me!!

We started a new rewards system for the kids. It uses a Whiteboard with the kids names on it. When the obey they get a smiley, when they disobey they get a cloudy. Each smiley is worth .25 cents, each cloudy takes away the same amount. It is working so far. We will see how everything goes. :D

Posted in: on Friday, July 24, 2009 at at 6:59 PM 0 comments  

Ok maybe not black but I WAS red for a few days. How am I to keep my pastiness if I keep going into the sun?? :D My family took a trip to Turner Falls for four days and three nights. It was a lot of fun and a HUGE adventure with three children. We swam, made fires, swam some more, ate snow cones, and hiked to some really cool locations. We even got to see some wildlife along the way. (Some fish, crawfish, and even a small Armadillo.) The Armadillo scared the crap out of me for like 1.5 seconds before I realised what the heck it was. Then I just laughed. My wife and I spent a lot of time together and it was very enjoyable. I hope to be able to have a camping trip with her soon again. We all really enjoyed it. Even Judy really loved it. She never once complained about being hot or anything. Guess part of it was her Daddy was right there the whole time. :D

Posted in: on Tuesday, July 14, 2009 at at 4:23 PM 4 comments  

Summer's here.... this means long days at work. Few days when I get to take lunch (which is usually just a few minutes anyways) . It is a stressful time when the kids are home ALL day and ALL night..... Did I mention they are like squirrels on crack. Running around like Hammy in "Over the Hedge". :D too funny

I wish it didn't have to work so long all the time. bu that is the life of a Vendor. I am so sleepy now. I have it get my kids in bed.

Posted in: on Saturday, June 13, 2009 at at 6:16 PM 2 comments  

A little over a week ago I ordered a DVI adapter for the back of my video card. I did this so I could use my other LCD monitor to expand the desktop surface. I now have a 20" and a 19" LCD working in tandom. (Both of which are widescreen) This is very nice for graphics work, coding, and other multitasking. I am happy to finally have this option.

Before moving we decided to combine the two PCs we have and make them one. This was done for space reasons. However, when I put the hard drive from Teresa's PC into mine it would not startup. This happened because there was Windows on both main hard drives. When you install Windows ot any operating system it installs a boot order in the MBR (I believe this is called Main Boot Record). When you have two hard drives with two separate MBRs it causes a conflict and will not boot. So I use a different operating system to search for files to backup. I missed a HUGE amount of her digital photos!!!! I have been working diligently for hours to repair the files with no avail. I am trying one last time to see if I can get even one picture to be saved. I know accidents happen but this was HUGE. I don't blame Teresa for being mad at me for it. I am very sorry.

Other than all that stuff I have been exhausted. Moving for two days then starting my new work week on Memorial Day Weekend. Man..... Tomorrow I have to get my mower going and then get the grass looking good. Its nice to have a clean house all the time now. :D (I cannot say that about my kids bedrooms.)

Posted in: on Wednesday, May 27, 2009 at at 6:39 PM 3 comments  

This week has been a LONG week for me already. I only worked Monday and Tuesday but I am tired. I guess working 21hrs in 2 days is enough to tire anyone out. I am ok though. I am alive, I have a great family, a great wife, and awesome friends. We are moving to our new house located here in Burkburnett, Texas on Thursday. Teresa and the kids are really excited. I am also, just not for the actual loading and unloading of stuff. I believe a lot of good will come of us doing this. For one thing we will be able to host tribalHD whenever we want to. That, in itself, is awesome. I have some really good friends. Only true friends would volunteer to move a lot of stuff, and for FREE. Of course, we will make pizza or something for dinner or lunch or whatever for us and the guys. I am so very grateful to Miguel and Richard for helping me this coming Thursday. Thanks guys!

Posted in: on Tuesday, May 19, 2009 at at 7:42 PM 4 comments  

Jesus was a fisher of men. Today tribalinc was a fisher of fish. With the weather being non-cooperative for our annual Father/Son campout we had to reroute our plans. We took a trip to Lake Arrowhead for a Father/Son Fishing trip. It was awesome. The kids had a blast. I ended up catching 5 fish, Jimmy caught several, Liam caught his FIRST fish EVER, and Zac (a neighbor to Miguel) took home the prize for the largest fish caught. I now have battle wounds (Bad sunburn). It itches and burns..... ARG!



I have felt much better. I guess I finally forgave myself for hurting Teresa so many weeks ago. It has been an awesome time for us.

I am continuing to teach the children at tribalinc every Monday night. Lessons plus a craft. I figured something in the 10 minute range for the lesson. It keeps their attension long enough and then they do a craft pertaining to the lesson. This Monday is Bookmarks that say "Trust in the LORD". I really like teaching the kids. It is fun.

Posted in: on Sunday, May 17, 2009 at at 5:44 PM 3 comments  

Well our much awaited camping trip had to be canceled due to storms and LOTS of rain. Liam understood but Ethan was really mad. He did not understand that we could not go because everything was under water. On top of that he wanted to goto do this or that. I had to explain to him that we do not have much money left. (and I just got paid on Fri) I have been really tired. Late nights and early days make for a long time awake. I haven't been sleeping worth crap either. Oh well. Life goes on.

I have been working on the Blog Central page for tribalinc.org today. I am almost done with it. I hope to post it tomorrow.

Yesterday I packed up the car to get ready to go camping and then Teresa got home from work. We had cake (it was her birthday) and then we went out to eat at Texas Roadhouse. We had a couple hours to kill to we went to "The Plex" for mini golf and videogames. It was a lot of fun. After that we went to the mall to watch "Earth". It was a nice movie. Produced by Disney and The Discovery Channel.

Posted in: on Saturday, May 16, 2009 at at 5:51 PM 1 comments  

Ok so my wife and I have been doing "The Love Dare". We are on day five. It says to ask your spouse what three things about you makes them uncomfortable or irritated. You cannot defend yourself or get angry. It is not good to have to find faults with your spouse. I guess it just might come easier to women than to men. Teresa spouted three out easily for me. I, on the other hand, had to think. It was hard to come up with three thing that irate me about her. Maybe it is just me working on my temper. I try to ignore the irritating things now. It helps me a lot to control my anger. Maybe it just masks it. I guess time will tell.

On another note: I am going to start dieting...... Blah. Whatever. I have to do something about the weight gain. I have been tired the last few days. More than normal anyways. I just happened to weigh myself and MAN I gained six more pounds! That is a total of sixteen I have gained in the last few months. That is on top of the 20lbs I gained back in a year from starting to eat right again. (Not skipping lunch.) Anyhow, I am going to join Weight Watcher for Men - Online I think. I am also going to go hardcore into a workout routine starting Wednesday.

Posted in: on Monday, May 11, 2009 at at 8:16 PM 4 comments  

Besides it beinmg a Saturday for me (which is a very busy day for me) it has been a good day. I got a very nice gift from my wife (a metal cross made of 3 nails). She is a sweetheart. We have been doing the "Love Dare". We are Day 3 "Buy something for your spouse to tell them you love them". I choose to buy her a necklace that says "Love for Life". She loved it. I am glad. I still feel a bit stressed for some reason. Not sure why. I think I just need to be in PM. Perhaps this monday will be a normal monday and I can attend the PM meeting instead of spending the whole time in the kids room. Last week they had a blast (the kids that is). We had a lesson about "The Rainbow Fish" and we made paper fish and decorated them. They loved it. I am glad they had such a good time. This Monday we are making keychains that say "Jesus Loves Me". I am teaching a leason on why Jesus loves us. I think they will have a lot of fun this week as well. I really enjoy teaching the kids. Guess I am just good at it. Maybe it is where I am supposed to be. Who knows? I guess only trime will tell.

Posted in: on Saturday, May 9, 2009 at at 6:06 PM 1 comments  

I have had a long day today. Not a bad day, just long. Now I am sitting at my desk - hot, smelly, with a bell full of chinese food. I have had a lot on my mind today. The loss of 2 members of tribalinc, Miguel's sick father, and my daughter's upcoming apt. I feel very sad for Miguel. I have never met his father but Miguel's pain, to me, is like I am losing my own father. Perhaps because I have grown so close to Miguel. I hate to see him go through, in one week, the loss of a friend and the loss of his father. Thats too much. Everything happens for a reason though. I know Miguel is surounded by friends and family and the LORD most of all. He and his family will make it through this.

I have had a growing stress. I am not sure why I am stressed. I am not in school, bills aren't really late (other than the ones on the bankruptcy) and I am getting along well with my family and my wife. Still I feel VERY stressed. Other than a severe case of Athetes-foot I am good. Why must my foot itch SO BAD!!!!!! &%^$#&@# FOOT!!!!! Ok I am better...but it is still itching.

I started a new account for my artwork. I feel deviantart is becoming more like MySpace. Kids, kids and more kids. Too much crap and not enough seriousness. I have an account with Artician.com. my account is located at http://stalkier.artician.com I will be posting only my serious pieces there. My other work I will post to dA.

I think that is all I have for the time being. Thanks for reading.

Posted in: on Tuesday, May 5, 2009 at at 7:05 PM 3 comments  

We all do things that cause ourselves to fall out of the reach of GOD, or so we think. When this happens all we have to do is ask for a lifeline and GOD will gladly throw it to us. I had a conversation with Miguel today. It was a wonderful conversation. He is such a good friend and mentor. However, I find myself struggling a lot with my faith. Faith in GOD and faith in myself mostly. It is hard to explain and I hate to use a comp-out. I think my depression has some some influence over it. Some days are much worse than others. Even when I have very good days I have moments of doubt. The meds are defiantly helping a great deal. I no longer feel as though I need to flee. Before the meds I would get the feeling like I needed to just run, somewhere, anywhere, bring nothing. Just run and get far away. Maybe to a different state. Maybe to a different country. If I did this I would miss many things about where I am. Judy's good night kisses, Liam's hug good night, helping Ethan on his homework, bath time, Odie purring when I come to bed, Teresa hugging me, and many more things. So many things that I would miss.

I have many things to work on to become the person I need to be. Why can't I have an easy day? All these years I thought I could keep the demons at bay. Lately they have been breaking down the barriers and getting out. Still I have that one demon. That tricky little demon that feeds me with that isn't good enough, you aren't this or you aren't that, you are a bad husband, and you are a failure. Of course, I know I am not but this feeling seems to be growing. It seems the more I try the worse things get. Perhaps it is because I need rest. I'll be better in the morning. I can get some rest then....

Posted in: on Tuesday, April 28, 2009 at at 7:37 PM 10 comments  

Last night I got a TON of work done on the tribalinc website. Miguel is very ecstatic, for me it is not a big deal. It does really look nice though. Big thanks to Miguel for all the hard work he puts into the graphics. He helps me in so many ways.

Today has been a good day. Teresa called me and was happy all day. She had a Judy day and enjoyed her time with our daughter. :D

I had a good day at work. Typical Friday stuff. Coke is not on sale so it is slow for me. I am glad. It is about time. We have been on sale for weeks. It gets on my nerves. They changed my schedule so I am going to have easier Saturdays now. I am grateful. My Saturdays are very hard on me. I know my shoulder feels it for a few days after.

Wednesday I had lunch with a couple friends. It was nice. I had to have a take along (Judy). She was being silly the whole time, picking on Miguel and flirting with the old women at the next table. I think she thinks all old people are her grandparents. How fun it is to be four years old.

Posted in: on Friday, April 24, 2009 at at 3:30 PM 2 comments  

Although I had to work a LONG time today and had to sign an almost write up; I had a much better day.

Judy had her very first baseball game today. I had to work and I missed it as the rest of her games because I work every Saturday. It is a bunch of crap but I guess it will be ok. Anyways she had a blast from what Teresa said. I will have to check out the pictures she took. :D

Thats it for now.

Posted in: on Saturday, April 18, 2009 at at 7:13 PM 1 comments  

I had one of those days today. I had a backache all night. I had to sleep almost sitting up all night. (What little sleep I did get.) Then I didn't hear my alarm go off. 20 minutes late getting out of bed. Not too much of a deal. Showered, dressed, brushed teeth, then sat at my PC to check email etc really quick before I hit the road. ISP was out. Grrr. The rest of the day at work seemed like it was going ok. I am on my way to pick up my schedule and my boss calls me all pissed off. Apparently I forgot to fill a display and the salesman had to stock 20 cases. Wouldn't be so bad but he got a couple other calls complaining about me today from what he said. After that I just felt like shit. Too many layoff and people getting fired where I work for me to fuck up like this and lose my job. I am sure I will not get fired because of this but I just have a bad feeling down the road. On top of that I have a headache again. It never seems to go away anymore. Makes me feel like my head is going to explode.

On another note I got a quick note from my friend Antoine. He is french and lives in Paris. He said "hello John a small safety while passing I hopes that you are well" which I think translates to Hello I hope you are going well. His simple notes make me feel good. He knows very little english and translates using Babelfish (Yahoo) to translate. I do the same for him in my notes. (Translating English to French). He is one of the only people on deviantart that comments and visits my page.

Work on the tribalinc.org website is going VERY slow. I feel like I should be doing more faster but the weight is very heavy right now. I hope it lets up soon. Miguel is very patient with me on this and I thank him.

I think this is all till next time.

Posted in: on Friday, April 17, 2009 at at 7:23 PM 3 comments  

I have been thinking of my daughter Bailey a lot the past few weeks. Nothing really in particular, I just miss her a lot. It has been a lot of years since she joined the LORD. Too many years. I keep a lot of photos of her on my phone. Some of my favorite ones of her. I guess it is all I have left, that and memories. I hope they will not fade with time.

My insomnia is getting worse I think. I am so tired all the time. I wake up at least 4 times a night and that is with taking sleep meds EVERY night. Personally I think it is BS but what can you do. I guess it is just one of those things that I am going to have to live with for the rest of my life. There are far worse things to have I guess. Perhaps my depression is part of it. Who really knows.

I have been trying to get motivated to work on the tribalinc website. It has been really hard for me to stay focused on any tasks for more than a few minutes lately. I finally managed to get a couple things done on the website and a couple pictures made for my DJ friend in Dallas. I am supossed to be designing 10 t-shirts for her. I have 2 started so far. It is supossed to be a paid job but money is tight for everyone so it will come when it comes I guess. Not a big deal really. Not like I am going to make a living from it or anything.

Well anyways I guess you can't really get any more random than that.

Posted in: randomness on Saturday, April 11, 2009 at at 5:28 PM 5 comments